Bits and Pieces

Things I hadn't known until now:1. At least as of April 29, the Cardinals' signing of Lance Berkman looks brilliant. I thought he was washed up. He looked washed up last year with the MFYs. He looks like Lance Berkman-plus so far this year (.410, 8 hr, 22 rbi). One for the Cards' GM, whose name I cannot spell.
2. The Hawks are pretty good/the Magic stink. See any of that series? Surprised as I am? Or were we all just confused? One-man basketball teams don't tend to be very good, and the Magic look very much like a one-man team.
3. Preparing for retirement is fun. Almost every day, there is something that I realize I won't have to do in 52 days. Something that I don't like doing, and will be glad to be relieved of.
Things I suspected but wasn't sure of:
1. The Grizzlies are very, very good. I was fortunate enough to be in FedEx Forum for games three and four and am thrilled to see that, while the Spurs aren't the Spurs of five years ago, they are still the slapping, scratching, flopping, whining, cheap shot artists that they have been since the honorable David Robinson retired. And we're up 3-2. And that's after losing a game where the Griz were the better team for 47 minutes and 57.2 seconds. Prediction: the series ends tomorrow night, and it won't be close.
2. The NFL Draft, the "royal" wedding, all "reality" programming and TNA Wrestling are vital to occupy mouthbreathers everywhere.
3. Donald Trump's megalomania truly knows no bounds. Can't chase the birther crap any longer? Well let's just jump straight into the George Wallace campaign of 1968! How did that black fella get into a good school anyway? And how on earth did he write a book? Hey, Don, Lester Maddox, Bull Connor, James Earl Ray, Richard Russell, Strom Thurmond and Wallace are all smiling up at you today!
4. It truly is time to amend the Book of Discipline to require that every newly-elected bishop will be appointed to serve his or her home Annual Conference immediately upon election. That's the only way we'll ever stop this practice of the large Conferences passing on preachers they want to get rid of into the episcopacy. And brother, would that one change have benefitted our Annual Conference!
Things that Boneheads still won't acknowledge:
1. Have you seen the storms this week? Climate Change? Hello? They used to be 500 and 1,000 year floods, now they're just the worst since last week. And 300+ people killed in one round of tornadoes? Really? Mother Nature's back, and she's pissed off!
2. Government budgets are moral documents. Or immoral documents. And all our fine "family values" folk who suddenly got religion on deficits after spending the nation into bankruptcy on GWB's Wars of Proving My Manhood couldn't give a rat's ass less about all of those that Jay-sus described as "the least of these." And they prove it every time Speaker Boner opens his orange mouth.
Awesome things on the horizon:
1. The Levitt Shell's season-opening benefit is May 14. Jimbo Mathus' latest crew, Alvin Youngblood Hart and Todd Snider will perform on what promises to be an utterly fabulous Saturday night!
2. The Shell's Spring Series starts the week following. This is one of the best things about living in Memphis! Whatever kind of music moves you will be offered at some point during the run, and if there is no music that moves you, lie down and gather some dirt over you, as you're already dead!
3. It's only 51 days now!