Apologies

Let's set aside forgiveness for a moment, because forgiveness and apologies are not the same thing, and I would argue that they aren't even connected.
Let's think about apologies.
We hear them all the time. There is The Celebrity: "If I have done anything that has offended anyone, I am truly sorry." This is barely an apology, and what is being apologized for is not the behavior behind it. Rather, the individual who depends on us to provide them with album sales, tv ratings or movie/sports ticket sales is sorry that we are so unhip as to be offended by what they did. If we, the great unwashed masses, just understood that being young, famous, great looking, and/or rich is an entitlement that exempts those fortunate few from the normal standards and requirements of life, then there would be no problem. Asleep in a running car facing the wrong way on a one way street at 3 in the morning with a pharmacy of illegal substances scattered around me? Sorry you're offended. Driving around drunk with the kids up running around in the car? Sorry you're offended. But if you'd just get with it and learn who I am, then you'd understand I'm entitled to act like this!
Another prominent apology is The Connected. It goes like this: "I have behaved/thought/taught/preached this way for years, but if being me is going to cost me my fortune/access/audience, then I'll pretend to be someone/something else." Think Jimmy Swaggart. Brother Jimmy, you'll recall, reached out to a series of women who had fallen into the prostitution profession. Only he wasn't bringing the good news that Jesus repairs broken lives; only the good news that he had a hundred dollar bill burning a hole in his pocket. The first time Jimmy got caught he gave a tearful performance in the platform of his church telling God and everybody how sorry he was that he had fallen short. Scary, the prospect of losing a cash cow TV ministry! But Jimmy being Jimmy, he shortly after got caught again, and that time he was far more honest. He told the world that this was between him and God and it was nobody else's business. Except like the police.
The newest proponents of The Connected are Jeremiah Wright and John Hagee. Each of these fellows was drooling over the prospect of having their dog winning the race for the White House, Wright with Barack Obama and Hagee with John McCain. Each could almost taste the sweetness of filling the role cornered by Billy Graham over the last 40 years: spiritual advisor to the President of the United States. Only one problem: There are so many slow news days during our interminable election cycles that finally, when everything else on God's green earth had been covered, the media got around to some stories on the candidate's preachers. That's precisely when the remarkable sound bites from Rev. Wright's sermons started making the rounds. Because there is no media person in America that can't appreciate the attention that an angry black man with a microphone can generate in these United States. Wright's first response was to give a calm, sedate interview to Bill Moyers to demonstrate his intelligence and share his biography. He tried to be someone other than who he is, to hold onto his access. But when it became apparent that Obama couldn't afford to keep this relationship, Wright was then freed up to be himself at the National Press Club and before the NAACP convention. And all while the great majority of white America still has no grasp whatsoever of the prophetic nature of black church preaching, which is all about hyperbole, energy and protest. White America doesn't understand this, because white preachers don't engage in much prophetic preaching, because prophetic preaching makes people uncomfortable, and uncomfortable people may not want to pay or even keep around those who make them uncomfortable.
Now, John Hagee is getting some attention. Hagee is a nut of long-standing. He equates the 1948 political resolution of "What do we do with the Jews?" with the biblical chosen people, and talks about the "special responsibility" we Americans have to fund the defense of Israel, no matter what they do to the Palestinians, Lebanese, or anyone else within their reach. That's us non-Catholic Americans. Because the Catholic Church, in Hagee's estimation, is the "Whore of Babylon" mentioned in Revelation. Not the Roman Empire, but the Roman Catholic Church. Bright guy, this Hagee. But as John McCain was fearful of not looking conservative enough to get the Republican nomination, the great political maverick from Arizona began to pander to clowns like Hagee and those who run Bob Jones University. Now, with the cameras turning on McCain's new BFF, some of those old statements are causing trouble. Hagee's afraid of losing his access (which can't happen soon enough), so he has rethought his lifetime of whackiness, and has now apologized for that whole "Whore of Babylon" thing. How do you call that a mistake? "Uh, I now realize that it's just an escort service"? After all, "whore" of the great enemy of ancient Israel and, symbolically, of the early church isn't like "That's a Dodge Caravan! No, wait, I'm sorry I ever said that. I now realize it's a Grand Caravan." There is a bit more difference here.
No, Pastor Hagee is apologizing for being who he has been his whole adult life, and who he is today. And he better be careful. Jeremiah Wright can do what he wants because he's retired now. Hagee has to keep his standing with his whacky Texas church (double redundancy, I know), especially if he loses out on the Succeed Dr. Graham Sweepstakes.
Here's a thought: how about from now on, apologies offered only after getting caught don't count; and neither do self-serving apologies, or those that blame the recipient of the apologies. Unless you have realized on your own that you screwed up, and aren't scrambling to save your career or position, just keep it to yourself.
Thanks for not wasting my time!